Updated: May 24, 2021
I guess I tend to be a rather strange mix of cerebral and feeling, both of which lead to a lot of introspection. This could be mainly by default, seeing that days, weeks and even months can pass without having a full conversation. This pretty much comes with the territory of choosing to live in a country where few people speak English, let alone hold a meaningful conversation. But this set up suits me fine, I might be alone, but rarely feel lonely. Mostly, I'm happy playing the role of the proverbial cave woman. The majority of conversations I have generally drain me and leave me with feelings of disillusionment and/or disappointment.
It's not that I'm cynical or pessimistic; I just feel that most people are full of shit, and they're exhausting. Most times through their own doing (vanity/ego) and then often times sub-consciously through a massive and deliberate mis- and disinformation campaign. Willfully ignorant. Relatively comfortable people rarely have a reason to complain or rise up against the invisible prison they've been born into, or even want to know or understand because they're so anaethetised by their complacency and hyponotised into submission.
Most of society, to be quite honest, makes me want to scream. One person may be smart, but, collectively, people can be stupid duds: so easily manipulated and maneuvered, to do and think unspeakable things. Of course, I do believe the converse to be true. Collectively, we have and could do great things, if only priorities were in order.
I'm so tired of the old tried-and-tested method of Divide and Conquer, Us vs. Them mentality. It's exhausting! The world is not black and white, there is so much nuance in between, which people fail to see when they opt to see the world in the former. As thinking, feeling humans, we generally want the same basic things (to quote Maslow): physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, self-actualisation.
The above-mentioned are exactly why I consider myself a pacifist; I think in this day and age, there is absolutely no need to bomb the crap out of a country, for whatever ideological reason, whatsoever. The majority of Americans are well-meaning, kind people, but they have been so far brainwashed into believing in boogie men, people, women and children, that they are willing to put their hard-earned tax dollars into an empire that has exceeded military expenditure budget ever known to mankind, and send their people off to be killed in senseless wars. And so fucking numb to it all.
Black Friday continues, perhaps as a numbing narcotic effect to what others are doing in their name, with their money. Money which only has cost in its perception of value, not in its worth. I admired a good-looking Ferrari today, but said to my Vietnamese brother Do, that I could never be with a person who wasted so much money on something like that. He was completely befuddled by this; why would a chick reject that? He has loads of money. I replied with the quote, "To know the cost of everything, but the real value and worth of nothing". Whoooosh, over the head expression on his face.
As a teacher, I read people, their reactions. Sometimes there's explaining to be done to assist in helping people to reach their own conclusions, without spoon-feeding. Sometimes, it's just not worth the effort and time. I chose to be a teacher to teach (and learn!), whether it be art, language, soft social skills, life or geopolitics. I choose this path, because:
Education is where it all starts. Getting people to think for themselves is my goal.
I laugh sardonically, because I say this in a socialist/communist society of Vietnam; where you ask students to 'imagine' something, they get seriously befuddled. As if imagining is such an abstract concept, too hard to handle. I walk around little trained robots all day, when given the chance, I can see want to break free. Try to give them the opportunity in my classes, through guided learning, meaningful play and activities.
And this is probably why, at the end of a teaching cycle, I feel so exhausted and just want to fly solo.
People are or can be, stupid, or indoctrinated, and I sometimes feel as though I'm farting against the wind. I do get glimmers of hope every now and then, people who actually see past the madness, the facade. But these are few and far between. Branding is everywhere, even the knock-offs can't spell properly. 'Supreme' has become 'Surpreme' (observed many a time). I get that by nature, humans are tribal, we all want to belong, but why, oh why, subscribe to such seemingly pointless things (in my opinion)?
I wish that people would put the same enthusiasm and gusto they have for the latest sports game into things that really matter. This could mean a powerful contribution towards a meaningful and purposeful society, where things grow, instead of stagnating and adoring falsehoods that really don't matter. If, as a society we could realise that we have this power within us, and not to always look to other 'powers that should be' for answers and solutions. If we could stop emulating those who don't deserve it just for the mere fact that they are famous. Realise, that as a society, we are slowly swallowing our own tails for so-called 'success'... Where would we be?
Yes, environmental destruction is a massive problem, but it's not just the every day people who are doing all this harm, it's also corporations who should be held accountable. Plus, as soon as little brats/puppets at worldwide attention are telling us how to react, just gets my irk. Social engineering takes many forms and has many faces. It's not that I'm anti-saving the environment, I just have a visceral reaction towards using children to engineer an agenda. (Greta Thunberg, thump...)
To take a step back from the emotional and to look logically at this issue, takes a great deal to most. It's really difficult to acknowledge that you've been played. Used as a useful pawn and frequently an idiot.